Want to guarantee failure? Do this: fake it ‘til you make it. I bet you didn’t expect to hear that.
I mean, how many times have you been told you need to fake it ‘til you make it to be successful? It has become the mantra for success. Unfortunately, its bullshit. Total complete bullshit. Fake it ‘til you make it is the insidious mantra of failure.
Fake is simply another word for something (or someone) inauthentic. Fake is the total opposite of the real thing. There are fake Rolex’s and there are fake IDs. There are fake cures (snake oil) and fake boobs (no comment). And there are countless people who are pretending to be someone they are not. They are being fakes, because they were told that is how you become successful.
And who can blame you, or me, or anyone for being fake? It is what we have been told to do. Plus the fake part is only temporary! In due time the fake-ness will become reality. When that happens we can finally be the real deal.
Fake Needs To Be Replaced By Real
But if it that was really true, that fake Rolex would become real – given enough time. And the fake cure, would start magically working miracle after miracle after miracle. And the fake boobs. . . well, you get the point. Obviously none of that will ever happen. Fake is fake. Fake can’t be changed. Fake can only be replaced with real. You need to have the real thing, to be the real thing.
In the best case scenario, being fake is uncomfortable. Worst case it is an outright lie. Try to pass off your faux Rolex as the real thing, and you may fool a few. But when you are caught, your whole reputation, deservedly so, turns to one of inauthenticity. And even if you fool everyone (good luck with that), you will never fool yourself. No matter how much you try to lie to yourself you will know deep down inside that you are being inauthentic. As long as you are fake, you will always feel uncomfortable in your own skin.
Be It To Be It
Here’s what you must understand: If you are faking it, you are being inauthentic. And inauthenticity will never get you to your destination. If you want to become something or achieve something, it must be authentically you. You must be it to achieve it.
What? Wait a second? I need to be it, to be it? That sounds ridiculously stupid. How in the world can you be something that you are not yet? Talk about the cart before the horse. . . this sounds like the cart before the horse was even born.
Let me give you some clarity. If you want to be it on the outside (the world recognizes you for it) you must be it on the inside (you must truly see it in yourself first). You need to be it (inside) to be it (outside).
Inside First
If you want to be a wildly successful entrepreneur, you must align your soul with it first. You must be a wildly successful entrepreneur inside first. All that other stuff, the big office, the cool colleagues, the dog walking around the office, is the outside manifestation of being it. What you experience in the world is determined by what you experience inside, and it is always in that order.
Fake it ‘til you make it, teaches us to have inauthentic appearances (the outside stuff) in an attempt to lie convincingly enough to ourselves into becoming it (on the inside). You’ll never get there. You’ll never be able to make a big enough lie. You’ll never be able to fake yourself out.
Here is the good news. . . you don’t need to fake it. All you need to do is be the real, authentic you. All you need to do is be 100% consistent with what your heart calls to do. Then focus all your energies on becoming that on the inside first. Once you believe it on the inside, you are it. And once you are it, the outside world will all come to recognize it and give you all the rewards associated with it.
Never again try to fake it ‘til you make it. It’s a fools game.
To be it, you need to be it.
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Now that you have the why, you probably want the how. I recently wrote an article that will give you a little guidance on “being it.” The article shares the two most powerful words in the world. Two words that you can (and already do) use in your life to become anything you want. I think it may help.
What a great article, thank you! I so appreciate and believe what you are saying. I also think it’s important to mention that perfection is not needed before getting there. Owning where you are at, and launching where you are at is a powerful and authentic place to be. We see so many MomBizOwners who are paralyzed into inaction because their website, their branding, their product funnel is not perfect. Sometimes you just gotta get there and improve as you go! Cheers!
Great post Mike! “Align your soul”..words of wisdom.
Mike, this article was exactly what I needed this morning. Just wanted to say Thank You for this post, and for all of the amazing content you put out. I am very appreciative.
Great post, Mike! Supports ‘I am’ beautifully.
Absolutely incredible advice thank you for an awesome post!
Well said Mike!
I like this idea, how ever I feel like it falls into the category of easier said than done.
Agreed… and I feel that is why so many people struggle. It is a discipline for sure, but i truly believe it is the only way.
Love this!
I like your sentiment here but in my opinion you are being too literal in regards to “fake”.
For me, the “faking it til you make it” idea worked in respect to finding my own self confidence.
I found that by “acting” self confident, I showed myself that it feels great to be self confident and that I really can be a better person by being self confident.
Anyway, just my thoughts..
Be it to Be it! A great new mantra for life. Thanks for this gem.
From the coaching world…acting “as if” is the positive spin, inside-out approach of taking the leap to be as you wish you be first…change your beliefs first, and the rest will follow. I agree. Goes with aligning your soul first. Thanks, Mike, for reminding us that even in hard times we are better to be authentic. Great reminder for me too today!!
I think “fake it till you make it” can still work if one does it in the spirit of fun and openness. And then perhaps realize in the process that it’s not that hard at all. I believe that in its purest form, “fake it till you make it” stems from the idea of children playing make-believe and feeling as if it were real. In this sense, “faking it” can actually lead to “being it.” =)
When you trust in the value of who you are, fake is not an option. We trust fake because we want what we think fake will get us. We forget that being ourselves brings us what we truly want. Love this, “Never again try to fake it ’til you make it. It’s a fools game.” Be who you are. Fail authentically and get back up and try again. People admire us for our ability to persist (well, most do) and overcome. Good post!
I read your article “I AM _____PROVING IT TO THE WORLD” which complements this very well; when you hear someone else talking/writing about how your own thoughts are like… We feel instant connection. An old friend came to visit me yesterday and he mentioned I was wised and that I could be an old soul; I shared my believes and thoughts about life and struggle, about fake and real, about winers and losers…Well my point is, Mike, I don’t think I am prepared, but I have being told that I could go and try motivational speeches! What should I do? I am good at one on one conversations but in a stage is different…
find a group to speak to for free – see how it goes.
Lawrence, I actually was thinking about it. I am just not sure what group to aim to? I was thinking High Schools, but they might be the harders.
what is your speech about?
Partly I agree – As Shatki Gawin says in her classic book – creative visualization – be it, do it, have it rather than what people usually do: what can I do, to have what I want so I can be happy? So in that I case I agree with your article.
Yet,I have also found some :fake it: elements helpful. When I had a tumor I was instructed and did say “I am excellent” when people asked me how I was – at first it was a lie – but what it did was 2 things – first – it stopped me from complaining about the negative which would lead to nothing but more negative thinking and people ‘feeling bad’ for me. Instead we could talk about whatever else was going on in our lives rather than sickness. Second, I became excellent by saying this over and over and visualizing me excellent and i think it was a critical small thing that helped me turn my life around. it just helped me stay positive and still does to this day.
love it!
Thanks for always sharing such great content. BE IT!
♥!
As Pedro said below, faking it til you make it can take on varied forms. That said, I think you nailed it Mike, as it is far too easy to focus on the wrong things when you are faking it, as confidence should come from reality just like everything else. Acting confidently loses its sway when you are challenged at the core. Real confidence, real knowledge, authentic value come from doing the right things in the right way long enough to get the right results. Nice job Mike.
I feel like this is just a semantic argument, albeit a valid one. The word fake doesn’t really convey the true sentiment of what the “Fake it till you make it” means. “Be it to Be it” is definitely more inline with the idea. Either way it is a true principle of awesomeness. 🙂
How about, “Fake it until you become it.”
Great article, displaying true values is apparently not easy nowadays, sad. So, I am glad you wrote this article – to wake us up again. Being authentic to oneself should be our daily objective!
Mike- I was already connecting the dots, but I love how this is so in sync with the I am mantra/belief. Thanks!
Thank you Mike! Always learn from your wisdom.
I happen to agree with you. For years I wanted to coach other women on how to change paths when they got to their 40s. And yet, I had not gone through the process myself. Once I did it myself, and transitioned from stay at home mom back to the work world to support my writing, then I understood the process from the inside and out. Now I am ready to help others. It is like trying to teach someone to swim and you can’t. Dumb. Great advice, thanks Mike.
It’s a riff, not a religion. You can blow it up to cover a whole range of confidence building strategies, or shrink it down to represent a snarky sniffle on inauthenticity. But it’s still just a riff. Some might say “whatever gets you through the day”.
Analogy: Wearing a “fake Rolex” – not an illegal copy but a well-designed lookalike of another brand – could be a great strategy if it cost a fraction of the Rolex price and you socked your savings away in a good investment. Rolex is a great brand, but there are other fine brands and no presentable person should feel shame because they can’t afford the costliest luxury item on the market. There’s Rolex, there’s Faulex… and there’s Timex. Take your pick!
I never faked a thing but am surprised you don’t see any connection between fakin’ it and the believing ” I am “
Faking is inauthentic and starts on the outside.
“I am” is authentic and starts on the inside.
Very relevant perspective – now more than ever. Early in my career I was once told by an employer to “fake it ’til you make it’ and it was extremely uncomfortable, especially since we were selling what I’ll call consultative services at a premium. More importantly though, these days customers/clients have access to so much more information they can spot a fraud in a minute, and when they do the damage to your professional reputation and your brand can have lasting repercussions versus the short term gain of pulling the wool over someone’s eyes. And now more than ever it is pretty easy to do some online research about individuals/companies and their skills/experience. When your client or whoever you are engaging with realizes they are dealing with a “Fake it ’til you make it” persona they see it as the equivalent of the circa 1970 used car salesmen approach selling you a lemon. No one likes to be on the receiving end of a fraud – it’s like eating poison. Honesty, being frank, and authentic instill far more trust and in the long run will enable lasting relationships and success.
A life lesson I wish I’d embraced this in my 20’s! Inside out, being authentic works every time. Great article. Thanks for sharing with us, Mike.
So true. Authentic people connect with authentic people. And the upward spiral continues!!!
Mike, thanks for sharing your insights. People that are genuine and authentic will build the meaningful and profitable relationships that are essential for business growth.
I so love to read real articles of real people, people that make sense. People like you and Chris Brogan and Brian Tracey and a few more! People that realize the person inside you is the person that you need to please, nobody else. If you fake it you are losing yourself and you are not living your dream….
Thanks for a great read
Blessings
Helena
Thanks Helena. Chris Brogan rocks. He is an amazing man and inspiring author/speaker!
I agree with you Mike on the points you are making in this article. But there is still room for this saying. But and yes I know that negates everything nice I just said…There are instances where faking until you make it can and does work you just have to have the wisdom to discern what is ok to “Fake” and what is not. For instance I started an independent Insurance agency and one of our first decisions was to take out the largest telephone book ad we could so we would ensure we were given a chance to compete on the call in business and not be discounted as just a small agency. No we could not afford the ad when it was placed but since we knew we could compete if we had the opportunity we created our own opportunity and was very successful quickly. Maybe I am splitting hairs but had to use that example.