I regret giving one business acquaintance of mine my cell number. He calls constantly, wanting me to help him or to order from him or do something for him in some way. Every time his number comes up on caller ID, I cringe. He has failed at professional persistence and has become a professional pest. You don’t want to be that guy.

Effective professional persistence is where you stay in front of a contact with their permission. Did you catch that? “…with their permission.”

You get respect and appreciation when you deliver on the other person’s expectation. In other words, if they tell you to never call again and you don’t, your compliance with their request will be perceived favorably. If they ask you to never call again, but you do (cue my “friend” I mentioned) you lose all potential for a relationship.

So, how do you stay in front of a person persistently without becoming a pest? You need to be aware of four things:

1. Ask Permission – First, ask permission to follow up every time you complete a dialog (even if it may be implied). For example, when you wrap up that call with them and the result is “let’s think about it,” ask them if it is “…ok to follow up with them in two weeks to see where things stand.” If they say no, respect that decision, and ask when would they prefer you follow up. If they say yes, check one off for professional persistence.

2. Learn Social Cues – People, in general, don’t speak the truth. Not that they want to hurt you in any way, it is actually the opposite, they want to save your feelings. So, instead of saying “Never call me again you dirty, disgusting son of a bitch,” they will likely say “I will call you when I am ready.” Don’t be socially ignorant, understand the cues and seek clarity when you are unsure.

3. Respect Their Decision – If someone doesn’t want to talk to you, and you leave them alone they will respect you more. If they ask to hear from you in 2 weeks, and you call them in 2 days, they won’t like you so much. Professionally persistent people honor the requests, no matter what they are, of others. Check one off for professionalism.

4. The Final Contact – When you get the final, please-leave-me-alone, send off, you get one more shot at professional persistence. Use the (long forgotten) handwritten letter. Send them a handwritten letter that thanks them for their time, that you respect their decision and your contact information should they ever change their mind. And, if you want to really do it right, include a small gift or memento that has a long shelf life (I personally am a fan of a great coffee mug).

You can be a persistent pest and lose respect. Or you can be a persistent professional and gain both respect and business. The choice is yours. But, damn, is it obvious which one is the right choice.