You are equal to your five closest friends. This is either good news or bad news, depending on the type of people you hang out with. You love your mob, but how would you feel if you were judged solely on the company you keep? The truth is, in many situations, you are.
Beyond association, your peer group is the filter through which you see the world. So if your posse is super negative, you’re apt to see the world through gray-colored glasses. People conform to the mobs they run with, so you better be sure your mob is the best representation of you.
If you’re freaking out now because you spend most of your time with a guy named Stew who watches sixteen hours of television every day and only leaves his house for beer runs and Taco Bell, don’t sweat it. You can fix this, and still show up at Stew’s for the X-Men triple-header.
Make Two Lists
What are the traits you respect in others and wish to cultivate? These are the qualities that you would need to succeed in life, and in business. Do you aim to be a person of integrity? Do you want to emulate those with supreme compassion? Are you aiming to be the raunchiest cut up in the room? Make a list.
Now write down your five closest friends (or more, if you’re Ms. Popular). Look at your first list and identify which friends have the traits you would like to have or be associated with. Even if some of your friends are woefully lacking in the traits you desire, it doesn’t mean you have to cut and run.
Look Alive
Now that you’ve identified your preferred traits, be on the look out for people who embody them. Rather than choose your friends by association or circumstance, seek out those who are living by the same code you wish to live by.
Remember, this is about character, which does not mean your peer group has to be living the dream. So what if your pals are still pulling all-nighters to get their plans off the ground? The point is do they possess the qualities you would like to call your own.
Apply to Work/Business
The peer effect happens in business too. Pay attention to the coworkers and business associates you spend the most time with. Do they have the attributes you want, or others that you’d rather avoid?
One final note on mobs: a strong individual can turn the course. If you’re hanging with a less-than-desirable crew, change your ways and elevate your expectations of your friends. You could be cast out for not following the status quo, but you could also inspire your mob to (wo)man up.
